Hear Me Out
by AmyLeigh88
Summary: Jesse confronts Shelby about her treatment of Rachel, and Rachel learns the truth about Jesse's involvement in her finding her mother. This is basically my way of reconciling what went down in the final 3 episodes of season 1.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. If I did Jesse and Rachel would always be a big part of each other's lives. Sadly, until Ryan Murphy comes around to my way of thinking I'll have to settle for creating my own version of their world.

A/N: So the way Shelby reacted towards Rachel in Theatricality really bothered me and I just had to write this. I didn't want Jesse to seem stalkerish by hanging following Shelby to the McKinley auditorium so Rachel and Shelby are actually at Carmel. This will probably end up being just a few chapters and they're pretty much finished. Anyways, enjoy!

* * *

Jesse sat silently in the shadows of the upper level of the Carmel High auditorium as he watched Shelby and Rachel talk. As he listened to their conversation, he remembered the day that Rachel had snuck in to watch their rehearsals and heard Shelby singing only to make the connection that Shelby was her mother and how Rachel had confronted him afterwards.

*Flashback*

"You knew," Rachel said, catching up to Jesse in the Carmel High parking lot.

"Knew what?" he asked, continuing to walk towards his car while she followed closely on his heels.

Grabbing his arm, she pulled him to a stop. "Don't act like you don't know what I'm talking about," she said, moving around to stand in front of him. He looked at her expectantly, still not wanting to answer her. "You knew Shelby was my mom the whole time."

"I _don't_ know what you're talking about," he said, looking past her to his car just a few yards away. "Look, I have to get home and eat and be back here in an hour to rehearse some more. I don't have time to -"

"I know you planted that tape, Jesse," she explained. "And the strange thing is, I'm not mad that you were probably lying to me from the start. I know why you did it. You were helping me and Shelby find each other."

"Rachel, I didn't have some altruistic reason for dating you and transferring to McKinley. I know this will be hard to believe, but it _is_ just a coincidence that it was Shelby who turned out to be your mother."

"I – I don't believe you." She didn't understand why he was lying to her. The only reason she had even been at Carmel High in the first place was to see Jesse, to hear his voice. If not for that, she may have never heard Shelby sing in the first place and figured out that she was her mom. "Why are you lying to me?" a hint of desperation creeping into her voice.

"I'm not the guy that you want me to be, Rachel. Vocal Adrenaline and my future are the most important things to me. I'm sorry," he had told her, then walked away, leaving Rachel stunned.

*End Flashback*

Now as he watched Rachel and Shelby, he regretted lying to her. He thought that he'd been doing the right thing. He thought that it would be better for both of them if Rachel hated him for lying and tricking her. He couldn't believe what Shelby was saying to Rachel. Watching her give Rachel the cup with the gold star on it as some sort of consolation prize in the place of an actual relationship with her mom, it made him feel sick.

He was in awe as they sang "Poker Face" together. Shelby and Rachel's voices sounded amazing as they harmonized. He saw the connection between them as they sang, that just moments before Shelby had claimed she just didn't feel. Anger boiled up inside him as Rachel said good-bye to Shelby and left the auditorium.

He stood up and went down the stairs towards the stage. "You're a coward," he said loudly as he approached the stage that Shelby was standing on all by herself.

She looked surprised to see him. "Excuse me?"

"What was it all for, Miss Corcoran? I thought you wanted to know Rachel, know your daughter," he said, stepping onto the stage.

"I did," she responded, sighing. "You're just a kid, Jesse. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh, I understand alright. I broke her heart," he spat. _And mine_, he thought. "All just so you could stomp on it all over again. Couldn't you have figured out that maybe you weren't ready to be a mom before you had me plant that tape for her to find?"

"I didn't know until I met her. I thought we'd have this amazing connection, a bond, something," Shelby explained as she looked at the pattern she was tracing with her fingers on the piano.

"That's not a good enough reason. I was serious when I told you that I have feelings for her and I didn't want her to get hurt," he responded, standing on the opposite side of the piano from her. "Did you honestly believe that you'd have an instant connection with a teenager? At least she wanted to know you and be a part of your life. You were her dream, Miss Corcoran."

"Jesse, I really don't want to talk about this right now. Thank you for everything you did and I'm sorry for any pain that I caused you as well, but now just isn't the time for Rachel and me."

"How would you know? You didn't even give her a chance. You rejected her before you even got to know her. Let me tell you something about your daughter, Miss Corcoran. She's amazing. Not just an amazing singer but she has a heart of gold even if she is a little misguided at times," he smiled as he remembered the 'Run Joey Run' fiasco. "Rachel would never intentionally hurt anyone. And she's so trusting and honest which is why people like you and me can crush her so completely."

Shelby looked at Jesse and realized that this boy was in love with her daughter. He obviously more than 'kind of liked her', as he had told her a couple weeks earlier.

"It's a shame that you'll never know those things for yourself. I hope that one day when you decide that you want to really know her, she'll let you in," he said, looking her in the eyes. He lifted his chin with a defiant look in his eyes before continuing. "The only reason I'm still here, Miss Corcoran, is because I think Vocal Adrenaline is my best shot at winning Regionals and Nationals."

"I'm sorry. For you and for her. If I could take it back, I would."

He had nothing more to say to her. The only things he wanted to say to her in the future would have to do with their routine for Regionals and then Nationals. Other than that, he didn't want anything more to do with his glee coach. He had trusted her with Rachel and she'd done more damage to Rachel than he could ever have dreamed of doing. "I'll see you at practice, Miss Corcoran."

* * *

Rachel couldn't believe everything that she had just heard as she stood there in the shadows of the backstage of Carmel's auditorium. She had almost left the auditorium when she had remembered that her purse was sitting on a table backstage and as she had picked it up, she'd heard Jesse's voice talking to her mom, calling Shelby a coward.

She stood there in shock as Jesse and Shelby's conversation unfolded. She couldn't believe some of the things that were said, especially by Jesse. She knew she'd been right about him. He had been protecting her mom, thinking it was the right thing to do. Tears began to pool in her eyes as he told Shelby about the Rachel he knew and how wonderful he thought she was. If she didn't know better, it almost sounded like Jesse's past-tense 'I loved you' was actually more of a present-tense.

As she saw him walking towards the side of the stage where she was concealed, she knew she had to get out of there before he saw her. Witnessing what she just had, it changed a lot of things especially how she thought of Jesse St. James but she wasn't prepared to have _that_ conversation right now. Running out the side door and to her car, she stopped as she opened her car door and turned around to see Jesse coming out of the auditorium and stop in his tracks as he saw her standing there.

They locked eyes for a brief moment. Rachel gave him a small smile before getting into her car making his heart skip a beat. For the first time since that disastrous day in the parking lot of McKinley High, he felt a small glimmer of hope for him and Rachel.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: First, thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far. It's good to know that people actually enjoy the stuff I write. As for how long this is going to end up being, I only have one more chapter planned after this that's already written. This probably could've turned into an epic but while I was writing this I started writing a Jesse return fic that _has_ actually turned into an epic. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Reviews are love.

* * *

Jesse had hoped that Rachel might call him, but as the weeks went by he convinced himself that he had imagined Rachel smiling at him the last time he'd seen her. He wanted to see her before Regionals but he had no right to call her. After everything that he'd put her through, it had to be her decision if she wanted to contact him.

So, the first time he saw Rachel since that day at the Carmel auditorium was backstage at the theatre where Regionals were being held. He looked at her, willing her to turn her head and look at him. He wasn't hard to miss in his bright fuchsia shirt. He was openly staring at her, not caring if his teammates or her teammates saw him and of course, one of her teammates did, that oaf, Finn Hudson. Finn stepped in front of Rachel to block her from Jesse's view and glared at him. So Jesse just glared right back and was just about to walk over and let Finn know what he really thought of him when Miss Corcoran told all of Vocal Adrenaline to follow her to their dressing room so they could warm up.

Unfortunately, Finn wasn't budging from the spot he was standing in so Jesse just turned around and followed his teammates. Rachel leaned back a bit and caught a glimpse of Jesse as he walked away. He looked absolutely gorgeous. She knew that he'd been staring at her, but she had had to stay focused on the competition. She wanted to talk to Jesse, especially since she'd had a few weeks to clear her head after everything that had happened at Carmel.

Mr. Schue's voice broke into her thoughts as he told everyone that they needed to go to their dressing room so they could warm up as well. They could hear the applause as the judges for the competition were introduced. Rachel couldn't help but feel a little nervous, and she wondered if Jesse was feeling the same way.

Thirty minutes later, she and Finn were standing outside in the lobby of the theatre waiting for their cue. She thought that she had been able to rid herself of her nerves but they were starting to get the better of her again. Not for the first time that night, she wished that Jesse was the one standing beside her and about to enter the theatre by her side. And almost like she had willed him there, she saw him appear off to the side behind Finn.

She smiled at Jesse, and when she looked up she saw that Finn was walking towards her_. Oh, God, did he think I was smiling at him?_ she thought. Rachel said the first thing that came to mind as Finn approached, "Break a leg."

What she heard next shocked the hell out of her, "I love you," Finn breathed. She looked at him astonished and managed a small smile then she glanced at Jesse who had just heard what Finn had said. The look on Jesse's face nearly broke Rachel's heart all over again.

Jesse wanted to move but he was glued to the spot, and Finn saw him as he walked back to stand by the door. Finn smirked triumphantly at Jesse before opening the door to begin singing "Faithfully". Jesse and Rachel just stared at each other, unmoving. Obviously, he'd been wrong about her still having any feelings for him. Granted, she hadn't said the words back to Finn but Jesse couldn't help but think that a lot had apparently happened between Finn and Rachel since Jesse had broken up with her. Jesse put his resolve face on, determined to not let this affect his performance. If anything, he had even more incentive now to kick New Directions ass. He saw Rachel's brow furrow as she watched the change in his demeanor and she faltered a little bit before opening the door to start her part of "Faithfully".

Even though Jesse wanted to walk backstage and get ready for his team's performance, he couldn't stop his curiosity from getting the better of him. He opened the door that Finn had entered through moments before and watched both Rachel and Finn perform "Faithfully". He tried to stop the jealous wave that flooded over him, but it didn't work. He should've been the one performing this song with her. He and Rachel were unstoppable together, and he knew if he had stayed with New Directions they really would've had a legitimate shot to win Regionals. He continued to watch New Directions and slipped back out the door that he'd come through while they were singing "Don't Stop Believing".

He needed to get focused on his performance. Watching Rachel for a full five minutes wasn't going to help him with his performance. Then he thought about it for a minute and remembered what Finn had said to her, the look he'd given Jesse and the two of them performing onstage together, he knew had to beat them. He _would_ beat them. Well, actually there was just one person on that team that he truly cared about triumphing over, and that was one, Finn Hudson.

* * *

Jesse stood on the steps of the stage in the moments before the spotlights would shine on him and his teammates and took a deep, soothing breath. He tried to clear his head of everything except for his performance, but all he kept seeing and hearing were Finn's words to Rachel. He took another deep breath, but it just wasn't working. _Well, if that doesn't work then I'm just going to work with what I've got: anger and regret, _he thought. Having those emotions coursing through his veins was only going to make his performance truly believable and unbeatable.

A small group of his teammates started the performance, and he knew this was it. He was a star and this was his moment to shine. He looked up as he sang - _Open your eyes, look up to the skies and see_ - and that was when he saw her. Standing at the back of the theatre, watching him all by herself. He fought the urge to only look at her as he made his way over the piano. Knowing that she was watching and feeling her eyes on him gave him a fire that he didn't even know he had as he played the chords on the piano and sang the first verse.

Rachel was in awe as she watched Jesse in his element. He truly was fantastic to watch. She had been dead serious when she'd made the off-hand comment to Mr. Schue that Jesse could've done 'Ice, Ice Baby' better than Mr. Schue. Jesse did everything better because he was Jesse St. James. Of course, the competitive side of Rachel kicked in at that moment as well and she couldn't help the defiant look that made its way onto her face as she crossed her arms and continued to watch.

Jesse sang and danced his heart out. If he lost Regionals, it wasn't going to be for lack of heart or effort. His teammates may be devoid of emotion when they performed, but not him which is why he was the lead singer. He poured every last bit of himself into his performances and this one was no different. Every time he looked at the back of the theatre he saw Rachel standing there which just made his performance that much more passionate.

Rachel couldn't believe what she was witnessing as the performance kicked into high gear. There was this raw tone to Jesse's voice as he belted - _So you think you can love me and leave me to die _- and it physically hurt Rachel. If there weren't hundreds of people in the theatre with her, she'd swear that it was only her and Jesse. And when he hopped up on the platform and turned his head just that little bit to stare and connect with her as he sang - _Nothing really matters. Anyone can see_ - Rachel wanted to leave. She'd just watched him put everything into that performance but it was the raw, intimate moment that was obviously meant for her that made her uncomfortable enough to actually turn around and walk out of the theatre.

Jesse continued to watch Rachel as he made his way back across the stage to the piano to finish the song. And it broke his heart just that much more that she turned away from him as he sang to her, and he watched her walk out of the theatre. He finished the song and it was flawless. The entire theatre erupted into a thunderous applause, giving Vocal Adrenaline a standing ovation. Jesse felt his heart swell, listening and seeing how much the audience loved it, this was why he loved performing. He just wished that he was sharing this moment with Rachel.

* * *

Rachel walked into Vocal Adrenaline's dressing room to find exactly who she was looking for, her mom. "Congratulations," she said in way of greeting.

"Hi, Rachel," Shelby responded, unsure of what else to say.

"I just wanted to congratulate you on your win," she said as she walked towards Shelby. "Although, the win should really go to Jesse alone since he's the one that won it for you. The rest of those kids are like robots on that stage going through the motions, but Jesse…" she trailed off. "He's better than Vocal Adrenaline. Vocal Adrenaline may have the dance moves and flashy costumes but everyone else has no heart. If Jesse had been up there with me on that stage tonight, we would be walking away with the trophy together."

Shelby was a bit confused by Rachel's comments. "I thought you hated Jesse? Why the sudden change in opinion?"

"That day in the Carmel High auditorium, when you and I sang 'Poker Face', I heard the conversation that you two had about me." Rachel looked down, trying to compose herself and not let her emotions run away with her. "I wish I could hate you right now because what you did was completely unfair. Not just to me, but to Jesse. You used us both to get what you wanted, only it wasn't what you wanted at all. Yet, you're the only one who came out of this unscathed." Rachel took a deep breath before continuing. "So tell me how that's fair?"

"It's not fair," she responded quietly. "I'm sorry. Like I told Jesse, if I could take it all back, I would." She thought about what she'd said and realized she wouldn't take everything back. "Actually, I wouldn't take back getting to meet you and having you know who I am, but I would change my role in what happened with you and Jesse."

She expected Rachel to respond but the two of them just stared at one another. "What happened to the rest of your team?" she asked, realizing that she hadn't seen any of the other New Directions members for awhile.

"They're all at the hospital. Quinn had her baby," Rachel responded as she turned to leave, not having anything more to really say.

"Wait, Rachel. How come you didn't go with them?"

Rachel didn't turn around to respond to her. "I'm not really friends with Quinn. And… and I had to see Jesse perform."

"You're in love with him too," Shelby stated, walking up behind Rachel and placing her hand on her shoulder.

Rachel couldn't bring herself to respond or say anything at all, so she gave a tiny nod in response to Shelby's question.

"For what it's worth, Rachel. He's a good guy. Sometimes his ambitions get the better of him, but deep down he has a really good heart. And based on the things that he said to me about you, he feels the same way about you as you do about him."

"Thank you," was all Rachel could manage. She was so emotionally drained right now that she wasn't sure how she was going to hold up for the inevitable results. She turned the doorknob and left her mother standing alone in an empty room.

Rachel could hear Jesse's voice as he and his teammates made their way backstage towards the room she'd just exited. She knew that Jesse would want to talk if he saw her so her only option was to walk in the opposite direction as quickly as possible and hope that Jesse didn't see her.

He did. And it hurt to see her retreating back as she quickly walked down the hall away from him.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: So this is the final chapter. I would've posted this sooner, but I've been tweaking the ending for a few days now. I think I've re-written it a few times and I've managed to write something that I'm pretty satisfied with. I may decide to continue this when I have some more time, but Regionals is how I wanted to end this. This was my alternate season finale that I had to write to make myself happy. Well, I hope you guys enjoy! Remember, reviews are love. Thanks for reading!

* * *

Rachel's teammates had made it back in time for the awards ceremony. Rachel didn't want to encourage Finn or his declaration of love so she planted herself firmly between Mercedes and Artie. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Jesse on the other side of the stage looking her way every once in awhile. She couldn't look at him though. Not yet. She had to focus on Regionals and the results right now. She would worry about what her heart wanted and the question of whether she could forgive Jesse for what he'd done to her or not, later.

After a few more tense moments, she just couldn't not look at him. As she turned her head, she saw Jesse's head turn as well to return her gaze. There was so much pain in his eyes and Rachel knew that it had nothing to do with the results that they were all about to receive. It was because of her. She hoped that he had taken notice of how she was nowhere near Finn, sending the message that she did not return Finn's feelings. While Finn's declaration had been sweet, Rachel just didn't have those feelings for him anymore. She loved the boy standing with their competition, and she knew that he loved her too. If only that were all that mattered.

Rachel's distance from Finn as she stood with her teammates awaiting the results did not go unnoticed by Jesse, and it gave him that spark of hope again. He didn't want to keep staring at her but he couldn't help it. He wanted to be standing next to her at this moment, holding her hand as they waited for the judges' decision. The reality was that one of them was going to lose and the other would win, and he wanted to be able to comfort Rachel when the inevitable decision was read that Vocal Adrenaline had won.

As Jesse and Rachel continued to stare at one another, Coach Sylvester and the rest of the judges' panel walked out onstage and both of their focus went to them. He wasn't really paying attention to what the judges were saying since all Jesse wanted to hear was who had placed where, but he thought he heard Coach Sylvester say something about glee clubs. He was sure it was an insult but he couldn't bring himself to pay enough attention to her to care what she had said. He definitely heard her when she said, "And the runner-up is, the not at all stupidly named, Aural Intensity."

Jesse's heart soared and then he looked over and it sank again as he realized that Rachel didn't even place. He didn't care about the rest of them. Well, that wasn't exactly true. He'd actually come to like some of the New Directions members in his time at McKinley, but it was Rachel's happiness that mattered to him.

They turned their heads at the same exact moment again as the two teams inched closer together for the final results. His heart was breaking for her all over again, and she could see his emotions written all over his face. So she put on her best show face, bright smile and all, and turned away from him to look out at the audience. He continued to stare at her as Coach Sylvester said "And the 2010 Mid-West Regional Show Choir champion is… Vocal Adrenaline!"

Jesse sunk to his knees in sheer happiness as he heard his team crowned champions once again. A perfect record. He didn't want to look over at Rachel because he knew the exhilaration he was feeling would cease to be. He stood up and hugged Miss Corcoran, even though he was still angry with her, she was a big reason why they'd won for the fourth consecutive time. He immediately regretted it because as he looked up, there was Rachel directly in his line of sight and all he could see was the utter devastation written all over her face. He squeezed his eyes shut tight trying to block the image as he released Miss Corcoran. He turned around and Josh Groban handed him the trophy and he raised it over his head for his teammates. He was their hero as they raised him up on their shoulders, trophy in hand, and celebrated their victory. His smile faltered as he saw Rachel almost in tears this time.

It seemed that no matter what he did, Jesse St. James was destined to break Rachel Berry's heart over and over again.

Rachel tried to not let her emotions get the better of her but she felt like she'd been beaten down over the last few weeks. If her break-up with Jesse and subsequent rejection by her mother hadn't been bad enough, then this was just the devastating blow to break her heart completely. She couldn't bring herself to look at Jesse as he and his teammates celebrated their victory.

"We didn't even place," Artie said, dejectedly. And Rachel couldn't stop the tears from welling up in her eyes at that moment. She knew that she should congratulate Jesse, Shelby and the rest of Vocal Adrenaline but she let Mr. Schue take care of that as she and her team slowly filed out of the theatre.

* * *

Rachel was numb as she stood in the atrium with her dads as they talked to some other parents. She knew that Vocal Adrenaline would win after she saw Jesse's stellar performance, but to not even place… It was like the atrium was full of white noise and everyone was muted because even though people were talking, all she could focus on was that fact that their lips were moving.

Then she saw him, standing to the side talking to Mr. Schue. The irrational part of Rachel's brain called Mr. Schue a traitor. The rational side wanted her to walk over to where they were standing and congratulate Jesse. She tried to quickly look away as he saw her looking at him but she wasn't quick enough because at that moment he shook hands with Mr. Schue and excused himself. She wanted to run, but she'd been doing that ever since that day she'd found out the truth so she stood there, eyes locked on him as he approached.

"Hi," he said quietly, with a tentative smile gracing his lips. "Can we go outside and talk?" The only response he got was a simple nod and she turned on her heel and started leading the way to the doors.

She saw Finn with a hurt and confused look on his face as she and Jesse made their way outside. Rachel couldn't bring herself to care. He'd had his chance all those months ago and had chosen his popularity over her. He would always choose something over her, so this time she was choosing what she wanted over Finn. They could be friends, but she didn't want anything more from him than that. He might've been the boy she'd had a crush on ever since high school started, but she was walking out of the theatre with the boy that she loved and who loved her for exactly who she was. Popular or not.

They walked over to the side of the building to have some privacy as people filed out of the theatre. Rachel stopped and turned around to face Jesse. "Congratulations," she said looking up at him, doing her best to disguise her broken heart.

"Rachel…" he began.

"You deserved to win, Jesse. You guys were the best team out there," she told him, cutting off whatever he had been about to say to her. "_You _were amazing." And she managed a small yet sincere smile.

"Thank you," he said, as one side of his mouth quirked in a half-smile. "So were you, Rachel. You guys should've placed. I'm sure Coach Sylvester had something to do with that." Rachel nodded slightly.

They stood there in silence for a moment, neither of them sure as to where to begin the conversation that they needed to have. Jesse decided that he should be the one to start since he was the one that caused the whole mess. "I know that after all the bullshit that I've put you through that I don't deserve a chance to explain myself, but I have to try," his eyes pleading with her. Those damn puppy dog eyes that nearly killed her as they'd sung 'Total Eclipse of the Heart' together in glee club. He wasn't playing fair.

"When you asked me if I'd known that Shelby was your mother and if that was the reason behind everything that I'd done, I lied to you. I was trying to protect Shelby. I didn't want you to blame her for how badly I screwed things up and how I hurt you." He paused for a second, willing himself to open himself up completely to her. This was harder than he'd thought it would be.

Rachel took Jesse's momentary silence as her opportunity to ask the question that had been burning inside of her ever since she'd witnessed Jesse's confrontation with Shelby. "Was everything that we had a lie, Jesse? Because I can't help but wonder what was real and what was the role that you were sent to play. Did she send you to the book store? I've been going over and over in my head how Shelby would've known that I'd be there, but…"

"No!" he responded, quickly and emphatically. He felt like she'd just punched him in the gut. She'd thought that everything had been one big ruse. "That was a happy accident that you and I met in the book store that day. She found out about us because Mr. Schuester came to Carmel to confront her about my being a possible spy."

If Rachel was being honest with herself, it hurt that everyone in her glee club had been so sure that Jesse had only been using her right from the start. No one had been willing to believe that he might actually, genuinely, want to date her. Then as she thought about what Jesse had just said – "Finn…"

Jesse couldn't stop the look of contempt that crossed his features at the mere mention of Hudson's name. "What?"

"I told him about our date and he must've told Mr. Schuester. I never realized that it had gone that far. I just thought that the glee club didn't want me to see you. I didn't know Mr. Schuester would actually go all the way to Carmel to discuss the fact that we had been on a date, with Shelby." Rachel sighed in exasperation. "Sorry for interrupting, go on."

He ran his hand through his hair before continuing. "Miss Corcoran approached me after that and asked if I would help her with something. She explained how you were her daughter that she'd given up for adoption all those years ago and asked if I'd befriend you. She wanted to get to know you, through me and eventually meet you when the time was right. I agreed because I thought it'd be a good acting exercise."

Rachel took a step back at that. "A good acting exercise? I was an acting exercise?"

"You have to understand. My career, my dreams of being a star are bigger than anything for me, Rachel. And at the time, that was all I could see. I'd had fun on our date and I thought you were great, but I wasn't the boyfriend kind of guy. I didn't do relationships. For me, relationships were something that could hinder my chance at fame." He explained, moving back closer to her.

"Still, Jesse…" she said, looking up at him. "When was it real for you? Before or after you tried to get me to have sex with you?"

"Before," he said quickly. Horrified that she even thought that he would try to take her virginity as part of a game. "It was before. I would never have done that to you Rachel if my feelings for you hadn't been real. My 'acting exercise' lasted about 15 minutes into our second date," he explained, with a rueful smile.

"Was it your idea to transfer to McKinley?" she asked, a hopeful tone in her voice that she just couldn't help. She wasn't sure why it mattered if it had been something that he'd come up with or Shelby, but it did. His big speech to her that day, in front of all of New Directions, had been the moment where she had felt herself falling in love with him.

"I'm the one that decided to transfer to McKinley. I'm not going to lie, a part of the reason was to get closer to you to help Miss Corcoran, but I also wanted to be with you. What I said to you that day was true. I cared about you. More than I had cared about anyone before."

He started to reach for her, but dropped his hands looking down at them before continuing. "I was happy at McKinley with you. Every touch, every caress, every kiss just made me wish every day that our circumstances were different because the more time I spent with you, the more I wanted to stay."

"You had your perfect out after the whole 'Run Joey Run' fiasco. I thought for sure you were going back to Carmel for good when I didn't hear from you that week, but then you came back… Why?"

"I wanted to use it as my way out. It would have saved us both a lot of heartbreak if I had stuck with that plan, but when I was in California with my Vocal Adrenaline friends all I could think about was you and the look on your face as I'd walked out of the choir room that last day. I couldn't get you out of my head, and being with them for that week made me realize that I was different. They all noticed it. I wasn't the same Jesse St. James they had all known for years."

"Remember the day I came back to find you in the ballet studio?" he asked.

Rachel remembered alright, that was the moment that she knew she was in love with him. She nodded and smiled fondly as she thought of what he had said to her about dreams and inevitabilities.

"I told you that it was good to be back, and I meant it. It took me going away for a week to realize just how happy I actually was at McKinley… with you. I had pushed everything with Shelby to the back of my mind and figured that if it came up I'd deal with it then, but I didn't want to push because then it all would have been over with."

"Then I confessed to you the one thing I'd never told anybody," she chimed in, with a bittersweet smile on her face. "That my dream was to know who my mom was."

He nodded. "It brought me back so quickly to the harsh reality that I was still lying to you and no matter what I did, I was going to cause you pain."

"I just don't understand how you went from being the perfect boyfriend that week, and pretty much doing everything you could to ensure that I was completely in love with you to egging me in the parking lot a week later. I don't get it, Jesse."

Sighing, he did his best to explain. "I've never felt the way I felt that last week with you. I was content. And I'm never content with anything because I know that there's so much more to do and if I let myself feel something like that then I may never achieve my goals. I hated how soft I'd gotten in my time with you. I hated that I was willing to let a possible national championship title slip through my fingers just to be with you."

"When I went back to Vocal Adrenaline, my teammates told me I wasn't the same Jesse St. James that they had made their captain three years ago. They told me that I needed to get my dignity back and I was so desperate that I was willing to try anything. I thought our funkification would cure me of any lingering feelings and get me focused on the things that I wanted."

"So why…" she took a deep breath before continuing. She did not want to cry and thinking about what had happened that day in the parking lot brought her to tears nearly every time. "Why did you egg me?"

"They saw the way that I'd looked at you after we sang 'Another One Bites the Dust'. How I lingered behind. You have to believe me when I tell you that I only thought we were going to McKinley that day to egg Puck and Finn's cars in retaliation for them slashing our tires. When we got there, they said that desperate times called for desperate measures so they told me to call you. I didn't want to at first, but I needed to prove to them that I was with them."

A single tear rolled down Rachel's cheek as she listened to him talk about his betrayal. Jesse couldn't help himself as he reached up and wiped the tear away with his thumb. "After I called you, I've never regretted anything more in my entire life. I was so angry at myself for letting them goad me. I shouldn't have had to prove anything to them. _I_ am the star of Vocal Adrenaline. Without me, they're a dance team with decent vocals. Completely mediocre, at best."

Rachel couldn't help but chuckle at his dig at his teammates.

"The moment you ran outside and I saw you, it was all so surreal. Like… a nightmare that I was going to wake up from. It was like every egg that hit you, hit me."

"But they didn't, Jesse. I was the one that was humiliated in the parking lot with egg all in my hair and clothes. Not you." She couldn't help the anger that had flared up inside of her. "You just stood there and watched as your teammates did that to me. Worst of all, you joined in."

He looked down at the ground again, ashamed. Everything that she was saying was right. He was a jerk who didn't deserve her forgiveness. "I was an idiot, Rachel. A weak moron who should've stood up to them. I should've thrown that egg at them rather than crushing it over your forehead. I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't even ask, but please forgive me, Rachel. Please."

"Jesse, I just don't know if I can get over everything that's happened between us. You broke my heart."

"I know I did," he said, taking one of her hands in his. He was worried that she'd pull away but she didn't. She just looked down at their joined hands. "I know what kind of person you are, Rachel. You're the kind of person that would forgive Puck even though he gave you slushie facials for years. Or forgive Kurt for saying nasty things about you. Or even forgive Finn for using you and making you feel not good enough time and again. I know I hurt you more than they ever could, but all I want is a chance."

She didn't respond and she was still looking at their joined hands so Jesse gently cupped her face with his other hand and tilted her chin up so that she would look him in the eyes. He hated seeing so much sadness in her eyes. He just wanted to kiss her and hold her and take all the hurt away. "Please, Rach," he pleaded, feeling desperation start to creep in. "I'll do anything. I – I love you."

Could she forgive him? Listening to his apology, she realized that she already had forgiven him and all she had desperately needed from him was for him to tell her he was sorry.

He had.

_Finally. _

It also helped that he'd just said the three words that she had longed to hear from him. She stared into his eyes, un-answering for a few moments, hoping to see something in them that would tell her what he was thinking. And she definitely got more than she bargained for as she gazed into them. All of the emotions that she'd seen written on his face when he'd gone back to Vocal Adrenaline were there. Pain, regret, sorrow and… and _love_. She nodded imperceptibly, "Okay".

"Really?" he asked, just to make sure he hadn't been imagining that she'd just agreed to give him another chance.

She nodded, a smile beginning to form on her face, as Jesse broke into a huge grin at her acquiescence. "But we need to take it slow," she said, as he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her flush against him just like he had done all those months ago in the Carmel High auditorium.

"I can do slow," he replied, huskily. Licking his lips, his eyes darted from her eyes to her lips and back again. He didn't want to push her too far. He wanted to kiss her but he didn't want to push her too fast. Rachel letting him hold her was one thing, but kissing him was an entirely different story and he wasn't sure if she was ready for that yet. After all, she'd only just given him a second chance. He didn't want to blow it.

Rachel could tell by the way he was looking at her that he wanted to kiss her but was obviously holding back so she took his face in both of her hands, and pulled it towards hers as she stood on her tip toes and kissed him. She had intended for the kiss to be sweet and innocent, an affirmation that she was willing to give this, _them_, another shot. Before she knew it, she had wrapped her arms around Jesse's neck and the once innocent kiss had morphed into the most passionate, all-consuming embrace she'd ever had in her short life.

Jesse wrapped his arms more tightly around Rachel as they kissed. His heart racing as Rachel deepened the kiss, sliding her tongue on his lips before he opened his mouth and their tongues tangled. He heard Rachel let out a low moan as they continued their make-up kiss and he couldn't help the possessive growl that rumbled low in his chest. He could feel Rachel smile at this, and they broke apart panting, gasping for air.

"I thought we were supposed to go slow," Jesse asked, a smile quirking his lips as he still held her tightly. He didn't want to break the tiny bubble of happiness that they seemed to be in at the moment. "Not that I'm complaining," he added quickly, making sure that she knew that he was happy that she'd kissed him.

"I changed my mind." The smile on her face made it seem like she was glowing with contentment.

"Rach, I know we can never go back to the way things were before and… I wouldn't want to. No more secrets," he told her as he leaned his forehead against hers, looking into her eyes.

"No more secrets," she agreed. "Just you and me." She felt like she had a permanent smile plastered on her face. She never in a million years would have thought that this was how the night would end, but here she was back in Jesse's arms, blissfully happy.

"Deal."

"I love you," she breathed out. She'd never said it to any boy before in her entire life, but she meant it with every fiber of her being. This time, Jesse took Rachel's face in his hands and gently kissed her. The slow-burn of the want and need that was building between them as they languidly kissed and allowed themselves to get lost in each other and forget that other people were even around felt even better than the fiery embrace they'd just shared. She never wanted the moment to end.

Breaking the kiss, Jesse pulled back slightly, still holding Rachel in his arms. He looked a little dazed, and it made Rachel smile smugly that she'd just had that effect on him. "We should go back inside. People are going to start wondering where we are," he managed to say.

Even though Rachel didn't want to leave the comfort of Jesse's arms, she knew he was right. They would have plenty of time to be with each other after tonight.

Stepping further apart, Jesse put his arm around Rachel's shoulders as they turned to walk back into the auditorium. Reaching up, Rachel laced her fingers through his and smiled up at him. "Just so you know, as my boyfriend, I expect you to win Nationals," she teased.

"Nationals, huh? I thought the three titles I already had impressed you," he replied, gently poking her on the side with his free hand.

"They still do, but since I plan on going to Chicago to watch you at Nationals, you have to make it worth my while," she teased as they walked back into the lobby of the theatre.

Leaning down, so his lips were touching her ear, Jesse whispered, "Oh, I'll make it worth your while," which managed to send tingles down Rachel's spine. And with that, Jesse released her hand and walked towards her dads who were waving both he and Rachel over to them. Turning to look back at an unmoving Rachel, he winked at her and took her hand in his again, as he led the way towards her dads. She couldn't believe how her whole body felt alive just by the simple touch of his hand.

Rachel smiled to herself as they walked across the lobby hand-in-hand. Chicago and Nationals couldn't come soon enough.


End file.
